The outbreak of COVID-19 has quickly moved into a pandemic status, and it has been stressful and quite difficult to digest. The adjustment that everyone is facing has led to a series of losses, from social connections to a sense of safety, predictability, control, and belief we can protect ourselves and our loved ones. Being quarantined has and will continue to challenge people.

So, it makes scenes to feel stressed, anxious, afraid, lonely, and that your sense of self is shaken, all while feeling bored and wanting to leave your house. Our emotions serve as a barometer of what is happening around us and this is why it is so important to validate how you are feeling and what you are experiencing during this difficult time, and know that you have choices.

One way to cope with this pandemic is to learn ways to navigate a crisis, especially when it may feel impossible to change. This is referred to as Distress Tolerance, a subset of skills that Marsha Linehan, the originator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) created, and it helps people manage the situation without making them worse, accept a situation as it is, rather than how it should be, and possibly feel joy in a time that is quite unpredictable.

First, it is common to have a vague sense of stress, anxiety, fear, and wordless pain. When trying to tolerate distress it’s important to wrap language around such experiences. Therefore, using a journal to reflect can help you identify feelings and put words to what you may have lost, for example, and ways to move forward. Meditating can also aid in identifying and exploring feelings while helping you breathe deeply and be in the moment.

Another way to move forward is to practice radical acceptance—accepting this situation as is, without denying it, so that you can better move through it. For example, I initially thought this couldn’t be as awful as the media was portraying it to be and I hoped to help my clients reduce anxiety and practice proper hygiene by staying home if sick. I was rather willful about not wanting to cancel sessions or plans I made months ago.

However. I have had to embrace willingness to recognize that I must do what is needed and participate fully in the process of changing the way I go about my daily life. I need to whole-heartedly offer teletherapy options and alter social plans that are vital to my self-care. As Linehan points out, rejecting reality does not change reality.

Next, it is well established that social connection helps when feeling stressed. Maintaining a sense of connection can be done by making phone calls, texting others, and video chatting with your friends, family, collogues, and more than ever, stay connected through social media. To take a step further and to feel like you have a purpose, you may engage in a technique called contributing. Though you are currently discouraged to be part of large groups (i.e., to volunteer), making a meal and dropping it off at your friend’s doorstep, to hospitals or a fire stations can help you feel like you are doing your part.

This pandemic has also affected people’s sense of freedom. A great way to feel like you are in control and to get unstuck from the grip of intensely distressing emotions is to get active. This type of control is based on the idea that your emotions will follow where your body leads. Doing something you enjoy, like taking a walk, noticing plants and trees on a hike, reading a book outdoors, and trying a new recipe will help get active and trigger an opposite emotion.  Doing something that elicits the opposite feeling will help you feel more regulated. For example, if you are feeling upset, watch a comedy show that makes you laugh.

One may also self-soothe by leaning on your five senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. You can use your senses to relax and find peace. For example, looking at a picture that you find soothing, baking a dessert that smells delicious to you, making yourself a cup of coffee/tea that you enjoy drinking, or petting your dog or a soft blanket may help diffuse emotions like stress. 

And lastly, daily basics self-care will be critical to decreasing stress. Linehan outlines these needs using the acronyms, PLEASE, which stands for treating PhysicaL illness, balance Eating, avoid mood-Altering substances, balance Sleep, and getting Exercise. All of these foundational behaviors are shown to be helpful with both mental and physical health and can help you create some structure in your life right now.

The idea here is to focus on actions and mindsets that will help you stay skillful when emotions are threatened to overwhelm. Though many things continue to be canceled/restricted and our flexibility will be tested, it’s important to remind ourselves that many things are not canceled, and there is wisdom in keeping some perspective about the above mentioned.  

The COVID-19 pandemic has increased stress and anxiety in our community and we are here to help, please reach out if you’d like to talk about ways to move through this unpredictable time.